6. Knee-hone-go and ingurishu (aka communication troubles)

I have been studying Japanese furiously, but somehow not making too much progress.  I have a myriad of study tools that my predecessor left me, including these great flashcards that are made for little kids.  I studied them on the train down to Osaka, and at one point I dropped them at the feet of this old lady who chuckled as she handed them back.

I don't study this one because I hear this word muttered wherever I go.

Reading Japanese is next to impossible, because all of the nouns, verbs, and adjectives are written in the Chinese alphabet, which has a different symbol for each word.  Even when it is written in one of the phonetic alphabets, sometimes it's in some weird font.  This says "ramen," but you'd never know it.

Why did we give the calligraphy brush to our 3-year-old?

 Here are just a few things that I have recently learned about Japanese that I thought might be interesting.

-The symbol for "like/love" is the symbol for 'woman' next to the symbol for 'child.'  Cause you know, chicks love kids.

-The word for "clean" is the same word for "pretty."  I feel like that idea is engrained in the culture as well.

-The symbol for "tomorrow" is the symbol for 'bright' followed by the symbol for 'day.'  Awww, that's so optimistic, Japanese!

-Mountains are people too!  On certain mountains (high ones?), you add the same honorific you add after a person's name (it's not the same symbol, but when you say it aloud it sounds the same).  Mr. Fuji, Mr. Everest.  It could be a woman too I guess, I'm not trying to be sexist.

-Speaking of sexist, the symbol for "content" is a woman in a house.  Also, one of the symbols for "wife" is the symbol for "woman" next to "inside."

The Japanese people in my town have had ample opportunity to laugh at me attempting to communicate in their native tongue.  I find it only fair that I get to find amusement in some of the English writing I see around.  Here are some of my favorite uses of Engrish so far:

Invitation from my supervisor:

Yes, I am convenient.  How did you know?

This sign near my house:

This isn't wrong, but for some reason I enjoy it immensely.

My contract, of course:

See you guys next Jury!

And finally, this shirt I saw in the mall:

The tag on it says, "Value."  I wonder why.

Some other T-shirts I've seen that I enjoyed:

-(in huge letters): I HAVE A DEEP RESPECT AND LOVE TO NATURE
-"It knows the limit of the possible: all people have wonderful courage."
-"Dirtee Hollywood"
-"Got Drugs? I don't"
-This was on the side of a bus: "Boys be ambitious."

I'm sure I'll see lots more of these, so I'll try to throw them in where I can.